A New Year; Being Yourself and Letting Go of “Shoulds”

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness - allen ginsberg

This is my year for being myself, the most myself I’ve ever been, and then sharing it with the world.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”― Martha Graham

I used to have this vision of myself…My spirit was a golden light shining out of my skin. Unfortunately, you couldn’t really see the light because over time I’d been covered by other people’s mud and crap; people telling me I should “be this” or “do that.” Sticky gross clumps of muddy goop that had been thrown on me when I was younger, and then dried, locking the light inside and making it almost impossible to move.

For years, in adulthood, I’ve been ripping those clumps away, letting more and more of my light, my true self, shine out.
And now it’s time for me light up the sky,
to move,
to dance,
to punch,
to sing,
to fly.

“Some people say, save yourself and you save your life. I say, be yourself and you save your soul.” ― Alice Hoffman

What kind of crap do you carry around with you that’s stopping you from being yourself? What kind of unworkable thoughts or ideas make you ready to say, “I’m done with that”?

Maybe you’re done with saying “I’m sorry,” all the time.

Maybe you’re done with not getting enough sleep.

Maybe you’re done with ignoring your instincts.

Maybe you’re just done with all the “shoulds.” Done with “should be better.” Done with “should be thinner.” Done with “should be quieter.” Done with “should be more outgoing.” Done with “shouldn’t laugh so loud.” Done with “should spend more time on my hair.” “Should exercise more.” “Should eat healthier.” “Should make more homemade meals.” “Should spend more time with my family.” “Should be a better writer.” Just done. Done. Done.

All those “shoulds” get in the way of you accepting who you are. That doesn’t mean you don’t have some things you might like to change about yourself. After all, people aren’t static. We’re learning and growing all the time. But you have to start with who and where you are right now.

This year I’m letting go of more of my “shoulds” and expressing what feels more natural. Letting that light shine brighter.

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” ― Virginia Satir

Yes, this means I will be dancing naked to cheesy music in the morning.

Yes, this means I will be smiling more at strangers. I’m done with being serious because my joy might make someone uncomfortable.

75/365 Hugs are Healing

Yes, I will be giving closer, longer hugs. I’m done with those polite ones; you know the ones- just the arms and only last half a second. From now on when I hug you, you will be held.

Yes, I will be wearing more colorful clothes. I used to hide my love of color by only wearing crazy, colorful socks and underwear. Fun, but no one could see it. I’m done with that. I’ll keep the socks, but they will be joined by crazy colorful shirts, scarves, jackets and skirts. That’s right. I might even clash!

Yes, this means I will be getting a tattoo! Finally. The one I’ve been wanting since I was 16. I’m done with restricting myself according to others’ expectations.

Be Yourself quote by Henry David Thoreau

Yes, I will be writing more. This will be a process. I figure I’ll have to practice at writing fully as myself. There is definitely a part of me that gets “cleaner” when I write. Like have I made any “That’s what she said…” jokes yet? Exactly.

Yes, that means I will be putting 110% effort into this website. Part of Who I Am is a passion for helping women, planning events, and seeing the beauty in people. RedDressy is a venue for making this a larger, fuller part of my life.

Yes, it’s a bit scary. But mostly it feels bold and exciting. Like it’s something I’ve been working up to for years.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

What “shoulds” are you letting go of this year? How are you going to be more yourself?


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